One Pissed Off Letter….

I think I come by my penchant for letter-writing naturally.  In 1997 Mom wrote this following letter to United Airlines, in behalf of her sister, Jan.

Dear Ms. Doolittle,

I am a 77-year old lady and have a terrible problem with United Airlines.  Please let me tell you my sad story.

Around the first of November – as well as I can remember – I asked for airline tickets for my family in Denver, Colorado to fly both ways from Denver to Portland, Oregon.  These tickets were for my good-looking, red-haired son (Gary), his wife (Debbie) and their little Amy.  Let me tell you right now that I had saved for three years from my little retirement income and my Social Security to buy these tickets for Gary and his family.  When I got the tickets, there were only two and I needed three.  United fucked up the whole deal and I nearly had a heart attack trying to figure out what to do.  I had to get my neighbor who is only 73 to help me straighten out this damn mess, and I am pissed off.  He is not very well, doesn’t see or hear too good.  On top of everything else, he wanted me to go to bed with him that night to pay for his trouble in straightening out your damn mess.   To make a long story short, I had to make a trip to Palm Springs to get the frigging mess straightened out.  Now young lady, this is no easy chore for me, especially after staying in bed with my neighbor the night before.  It is 25 miles to Palm Springs – round trip is 50 miles.  My 15 year old Mercury will not take many more of these trips.  Granted I am not the best driver, but neither are those other damned fools out there.  It was Christmas time and the cars were coming at me like shit out of a boot and I was scared to death.  Then I had to pay for parking and walk until I thought I was going to drop.  On top of all this shitty situation, I missed my weekly Bingo game that night which is the only pleasure I have in life these days.  The gasoline I had to use, the parking expense and the time it took wore me out.  You have got to  remember as I tell you all this that I am a frail 77-year old lady, living on a limited income and I don’t need this gawd-damned stress.

This is not all – you charged me $68.00 too much and that nearly put me into a case of the vapors.  Had to call the neighbor over again to help get that straightened out and you know what I had to do to repay him.  My heart will not stand for anymore of this!  It was kind of satisfying but it just takes him so damned and I’m tired.

I had to make ever so many trips to the Post Office to send those tickets certified mail and that cost me extra money which I can’t afford on my little income.  I also had to call my good-looking son in Denver and tell him all about all of this.  Now, Ms Doolittle, I want you to know that I only call my son about once a year, usually on his birthday.  He thought when he heard my voice that something terrible was wrong but I quickly told him it was nothing except United Airlines had fucked up their tickets.  He’s such a sweet boy but now he’s as pissed off at United as I am.

Now, I want to visit my aging sister in San Antonio on January 10th.  When I called your airlines – I don’t know why I was stupid enough to fuck around with you after all I had gone through, but I had some frequent flyer miles.  You couldn’t get me on the airplane so I decided to fly on the 9th.  Coming home on the 27th, United has me flying all over the frigging United States.  I told you, I am a frail, little old lady and I can’t take this shit anymore.

Please help me – I have spent money for gas, money for parking, got out into that wild traffic and missed my Bingo games.  How much more of this shit do you think I can take?  Oh, I forgot to mention the two nights I had to spend with my neighbor, probably the only good thing to come out of this frapping mess.  Call me and tell me what you’re going to do to help me get some of my money back.

Respectfully,

Jan M.