Harry’s Neighbor

Harry has a neighbor who is “none too bright.”  I have met him, and I would think describing him as “half-bright” sometimes would be a “stretch.”  But he treats Harry well, so Harry ‘tolerates’ him.  With all his incessant whining and ineptness, Harry tolerates him…

I stopped by Harry’s yesterday to check on him.  Harry isn’t doing too well physically, but his mind is still pretty sharp.  As we were talking his neighbor came up, and Harry began laughing.

For years they have watched each other’s houses when the other went away.  To allow Harry access to his house, his neighbor gave him a garage door opener.  With Harry, wrong move.

One day, when his neighbor was out working in the yard, Harry shut his garage door from his place.  Now, between Harry’s and his neighbor’s place is a small field, maybe 150 feet to so wide.  and it is usually planted with corn or beans.  But the garage door opener works fine from Harry’s house.

So, the neighbor seeing his garage door lower, has to walk around the house to gain access – there is no readily assessable door near his garage door.  And Harry takes great delight in knowing this!  Soon the door opens once again, and out comes his neighbor.

Harry lets him work for another 30 or 40 minutes, then shuts it again.  And the drill repeats itself:  around the house goes the neighbor, the door opens again and back to work goes the neighbor.

This goes on for about a few hours when Harry sees his neighbor get into his truck.  “Oh, here he comes,” thinks Harry – and he’s right.  The guy would never just walk across the field!

“You having problems with your garage door?” asks his neighbor.

“No,” replies Harry, “what’s up?”

“Oh,the gawd-damn door keeps closing, or opening on it’s own,” reports the neighbor, “and it’s getting to be a real pain in the ass!”

“Ya think it might be the jets?” asks Harry, referring to the local F-16s from out at the base.

“Now, that’s a thought,” the neighbor replies, “I think I’m gonna call out there and complain…” and of he goes.  Harry is beside himself…

As he tells me the story yesterday, Harry begins looking for something in the kitchen.  When I ask what he is looking for, he tells me, “the garage door opener.”  And this time, we both laugh!

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