We used to take the kids and camp on the Guadalupe River, just East of San Antonio. We would head out there on a Friday afternoon, set up camp at Zip’s and just enjoy the weekend. Often there were several families with us, and we always had a ball.
One Friday afternoon Mike Z. and his wife Susan came out to visit. After an evening of skiing, eating and drinking, Mike didn’t feel like driving back to San Antonio. I had a camper on the truck at the time so I told him he could stay in there. We just put the kids in the tent with us for the night…
We also had a pup at the time, Homer. Homer was a black lab and was about 9 or 10 months old at the time. When we all went to bed, I just tied him to the bumper for the night. He could crawl under the truck, and was fine.
After the fire died down that night, we all went to bed. I fell right to sleep, and slept very well – until I was awakened by the most chilling blood-curdling scream I had ever heard! Gawd, it was awful! I grabbed my K-bar (knife) and went flying out of the tent, not knowing what I would find.
Quickly looking around the camp site I soon spotted Mike, standing near the truck, in the nude! He looked terrified. What the Hell?
I went over to check on him, and he told me what happened. It seems he woke up and had to pee. So, he climbed out of the camper, without dressing, and walked over toward the bushes. Just as he was “getting into it,” he felt “something wet” wiping his ass! That triggered the scream! He looked around, and saw nothing! Another scream!
Well, it didn’t take long to figure out what happened. As he was taking a leak, Homer crawled out from under the truck, and licked Mike’s ass! When Mike turned around ,he saw nothing – Homer had shot back under the truck at the first scream – also scared to death!
It wasn’t long before we were all awake, laughing like crazy. It was even funnier, watching Mike pack up and leave – he had had enough camping for one night!
This all occurred around 3 in the morning, and it took a while to settle down again – to get back to sleep… every time I was about to fall asleep, I would think about Mike, and just start laughing all over again! It was a long night…