(Dan F. was one of the funniest guys I met whilst in the Air Force. Although I did not witness the following story, I do have it on ‘good authority…’)
Dan was a T-38 Flight Commander at Vance AFB, OK in the late ’70’s. One afternoon, after flying, he was standing at the scheduling desk in the flight room, filling out the daily after flying reports. Totally engrossed in his reports, he wasn’t paying much attention to who was coming or going into the flight room – and failed to notice when the Wing Commander entered.
The Wing Commander was on his way cross country somewhere, and was just looking for a spot to do some flight planning. Settling in on the other end of the scheduler’s desk he asked Dan if he had a “whiz wheel.” (A ‘whiz wheel’ was the hand-held CPU-26A/P Computer Air Navigation we carried for flight planning).
Without looking up, Dan replied, “Not only do I not have a whiz wheel, but I wouldn’t know how to use the fucker if I had one!” It was at this point he looked up and saw who asked the question, and without skipping a beat, he continued, “But Sir, I’m gonna find one and I’m gonna learn how to use it, real fast!”