I began drinking coffee when I was 16. I can’t remember the exact date of my first cup of coffee, but I sure remember the time and place!
We were stationed at Chambley AFB, France. Base housing was a trailer park.
The “deluxe” houses had lean-toes. In winter these trailers leaked and shook with the cold winds, and in summer they were hot and sultry.
My room was at the rear of the our trailer. Just off my room, in the lean-to, was my folk’s room. One night I was awakened by an all-to-familiar noise from the lean-to – the sound of anger. To this day I remember Mom saying, “No Bob, don’t do that – it hurts!” And I just laid there… in silence, trying to block everything from my mind.
Soon thereafter Mom came up into the trailer, into my room, and asked if I was awake. After an appropriate delay I sat up, seemingly shaking the sleep from my head. She asked me if I would go to the base cafeteria with her. (In those days Air Force bases had 24-hour cafeterias; cafeterias that usually featured good food. Today there are economical, environmental-friendly vending machines.) I got up, put on my jeans and we were on our way.
I could see Mom was distressed. I knew better than to ask ‘why;’ I knew why. I had heard it all; laying hardly 10 – 15 feet away, listening to dear ole Dad abuse my Mom. Listening to dear ole Dad rape my Mom. And I did nothing…
By the time I was 16 I had taken “my fair share of beatings;” for all sorts of heinous crimes a child of an angry alcoholic inadvertently commits. I was tired of being beaten myself. So I laid there and “let” Mom take another one. And from that night on I have carried the shame of a young boy who could, or would not, protect his Mother…
In spite of everything that had proceeded, Mom and I had a great, light-hearted conversation that night. We always did. I never let on that I knew what had transpired before we got to the cafeteria that night – I never brought it up with Mom… But there is hardly a time, when I have a cup of coffee, that I don’t wonder how life would have been different had I taken one more beating…