I have mentioned Beverly – Bev – several times now in my posts. Probably a good time now, to introduce you to her…
I met Bev in Sept/Oct of 1994 at an AA meeting: The Bowling Green Water Tower Meeting. I didn’t pay a great deal of attention to her at first, but as I got to listening when she spoke I became attracted to her. Not in a physical or emotional way, but in a “spiritual” way. When she spoke in those meetings, she seemed to be speaking to me.
In AA “they” tell us to choose sponsors who “have what we are looking for.” Bev certainly had that: a sense of serenity, an aura of ‘calmness’ about her and ‘wisdom.’ She had this ‘wisdom’ in her that I had rarely ever seen before.
After our meetings, a group of us began going to a restaurant in town to just talk. I began to grow even closer to Bev during those times.
In AA “they” also tell us that when choosing a sponsor, men should stick with men, and women should stick with women. So I chose Bev… go figure?
Bev was a few years older than me, and a great deal wiser! And wouldn’t you know it, she had a man as a sponsor! I knew we would get along.
We also shared a “sick” sense of humor, and a caustic, sarcastic outlook at times. I don’t think (in sobriety) either of us was “nasty,” we just didn’t buy into bullshit that is so often tossed out by other folks. A “character defect,” if you will, that I still embrace today.
In the beginning it was tough, working with Bev. She was at once; kind, mean, truthful, insightful, tough and compassionate. Just what I needed at that time of my life. I once called her one evening as I was struggling and asked, “Bev, if this program (AA) is so Gawd-damned ‘simple,’ why can’t I get it?” I was so pissed off at the time. About what? Who knows?
In her typical calming voice she replied, “Bob, it is a ‘simple’ program; it is just not ‘easy.’ And all the angst I was carrying at the time, just released. Wow… just gone! From then on, I knew I had better listen when Bev was talking.
Over the ensuing years we would laugh together, cry together and share time together. There was never any “romantic” attraction, just a deep “soul” connection to her. As often the case, Bev used her humor to make a point with me. “Bob,” she said early on, “I know you can think with ‘that head’ (pointing to my crotch), I am going to teach you how to think with the head on your shoulders!” And she would laugh! And, so did I.
Over the ensuing years I worked with Bev and learned so much from her. I think, rather than give you a “”laundry list” of what I learned from her, I will continue to integrate her into my stories – as she has integrated into my life. I learned that when I became “teachable,” several people I might not have given a second thought to in the past, have come into my life, and have made such profound impacts! They all are truly “angels!”
Bev died a few years back, but she has never left me. There is not a day that passes that she doesn’t have something to say to me – even now. And she doesn’t seem to be shy about speaking up, as she wasn’t when she was here! LOL!
Bev, like so many of you, are my real blessings; my treasures of the heart… and I am so grateful for each – and every one of you has imprinted my “Disk of Life.”