Lt. Colonel Dick Hansen was a “captain’s colonel.” What I mean by this is, he always looked out for his men and women. At Happy Hour, you could almost always find Col. Hansen sitting with the captains instead of rubbing elbows with the colonels. It was one such evening that Col. Hansen shared this story.
In the early 60s, before ATC received the T-38, the T-33 was the primary trainer. One weekend, a Dick’s squadron mate invited him to go on a cross-country flight to Greenville, MS. Greenville, at the time, was an active Air Force training base. So Friday night rolls around and off they go.
Upon arriving at Greenville they both head to the Officer’s Club for a “few” pops. It was then that Dick learned that the guy he was flying with was meeting his girlfriend the next day. And he thought nothing of it, until 6 weeks later!
What Dick didn’t know at the time was, his squadron mate headed out to the jet the next morning and took off solo. He flew to a small town, about 30 miles from Greenville. When he arrived, he decided to put on an impromptu air show!
After 10-15 minutes, he landed at the small airfield near the small town where his girlfriend met him. He gave her a brief orientation of the rear cockpit, then took off. And back over the town they went – for yet another airshow!
At some point during this second airshow, the young Lieutenant decided to check his fuel gauge. “Oh crap,” he thought, “this isn’t good.” So he headed back to the small airfield, helped his girlfriend out of the jet, then sought out the airfield manager. He needed gas.
The airfield manager told him all he had was 80 octane fuel. “Well, I suppose that will work,” he thought. He then checked his wallet and told the airport manager he would take $80 of fuel.
After refueling, he fired up the jet, took off, and returned to Greenville. As he taxied in he thought to himself, “I made it!” (I know of this feeling of elation myself.)
As he was filling out the aircraft forms, the crew chief began tugging at his flight suit sleeve and said, “Lt., I have something to show you,” and motined him to the rear of the jet. When they got back there, the tailpipe was ash white! 80 octane gas burns a lot higher than jet fuel. “Crap, crap, crap,” he thought.
Now, I would have never thought of what the young Lt. did next. He asked the crew chief how long he had been gone. “About 2 to 3 hours, Sir” the crew chief replied.
“We were afraid of this, the white tailpipe,” the Lt. continued. He explained that he was at Greenville to test a new ‘fuel additive’ to increase the range and endurance of the jet. The crew chief bought it.
The young Lt. then told the crew chief to take out his ID card, put his thumb over the eagle on the card, and raise his right hand. He then had the crew chief swear that what he observed, with respect to the flight, would be held in the strictest of confidence in the interest of national security. Who thinks of crap like this?
The next morning, the young Lt. told Dick to hop in the jet, that he would do the walk-around inspection. He didn’t want Dick to see the white tail pipe.
After landing back at their home base, the first thing the young Lt. did was he checked the tailpipe. It was now “normal” in color. “Oh man,” he thought to himself, “I dodged another bullet!” And off they went.
About 6 weeks later, both were summoned to the commander’s office. No clue what for. The commander then proceeded to drill them. First, he asked if there was anything abnormal about their cross-country to Greenville a few weeks back. Dick and his friend looked at each other, both professing innocence, claiming nothing out of the ordinary. The commander then produced a stack of letters and began reading. Dick looked at his friend with total disbelief.
Apparently, when the young Lt. left the small airfield, he left the receipt for the fuel behind. The airport manager thought he would need that receipt for his taxes, and had no way to get it to him. So he decided to send the receipt to “The Commander of the Air Force” in Washington DC! And with the receipt, he included a personal letter of appreciation, telling him what a fine young man that Lt. was. Dick just stood there in total disbelief as the commander continued.
“The airman’s graceful rolls and steep dives were quite impressive as he showed everyone in our small town what a jet could do. Everyone cheered as he came up Main Street, very fast, and very low,” the airport manager exclaimed. “Then wouldn’t you know it, he landed at our small airfield, put Susie in the back seat, and took her for a ride!” Dick just stood there as his commander continued to read other letters that were added, as the Commander of the Air Force’s letter came down the chain of command. “I am so screwed,” Dick thought.
As it all turned out, Dick and his friend were held back from promotion to Captain for a year. Then they both went to Vietnam, where each one of them had very successful tours. I don’t know what happened to Dick’s friend, but Dick went on to make promotions “below the zone,’ and upon assignment to the Pentagon, he retired and opened a bait shop in Oregon!