(There are some stories I hear that are just too good not to include here. This is another of them.)
Joe called just before Christmas and we got to talking about his 2 daughters. They are both adopted, from China. After he told me how they were both doing, he shared this story…
When he and his wife decided to adopt they had to go through a rigorous and intensive interview process. Joe’s wife, having lived with him for over 20 years, knew him pretty well. As they were heading into the first interview, she stopped and looked deep into his eyes. Then she said in a bone-chilling voice, “Don’t you dare screw this up!” And Joe knew, at that very moment, he had only one of 5 possible replies to offer in the interview process: “Yes Sir, Yes Ma’am, No Sir, No Ma’am and Sir/Ma’am, I don’t know.” That was it.
And, with his wife putting the ‘Fear of God’ into him, he did fine at that first interview.
The second interview, a ‘one-on-one,’ followed shortly thereafter. Joe told me that he drew a young 22, 23-years old girl for his interview. And again, as he went in for the interview, he caught a glance of “the stink eye” from his wife.
The interviewer had a list of questions she was to cover. As she proceeded through the list it was obvious to Joe that she was becoming more and more nervous. When she got down near the bottom of her first sheet of questions, she skipped a few and went on to the second page. Then she came back to the first page, then she came back when Joe answered everything on that second page. By this time Joe said she was ‘real’ nervous.
She looked at him and said something like, “Mr. D., I’m sorry but I have to ask these questions about your sex life.” And it was obvious she was about to have a nervous breakdown with it all.
To put her at ease, Joe came back right away with, “Oh that’s okay,” and as he reached for his wallet, he continued, “Would you like to see the pictures?”
And she “lost it!” I guess her eyes rolled back and she went into a case of the vapors!
As they eventually were approved for the girls, and it has been several years now, Joe felt safe in sharing the story with me. I don’t know if he has told his wife….
If one knows Joe (so happens I do), every bit of it is true.
But then, there’s Lonely Pilot Bob.
Between the two, they pulled off the greatest of pranks, at a funeral, no less.
These two have cahones.