The 12th Student Squadron

I took command of the 12th Student Squadron (12th STUS) on 6 May 1986.  The Student Squadron was on of three flying squadrons of the 12th Flying Training Wing.  The primary responsibilities of the squadron included academic training and administration activities for the T-37 and T-38 Pilot Instructor  Training trainees.  (We couldn’t call them students because a couple of the ‘little darlings’ were offended with the use of the word “student” – the majority of them having just graduated as students from Undergraduate Pilot Training (UPT)).  And there is nothing more devastating than flying with a ‘trainee,’ or ‘student’ with hurt feelings.  But, I digress….

I had been in the Wing for nearly 4 years when I assumed command of the 12th STUS, so I had a good appreciation how it all worked.  At the time, the 569th Flying Training Squadron (FTS) was the “premier” flying squadron of Air Training Command.  I wasn’t all that “shot in the head” with being given command of the 12th STUS; it was always treated as somewhat of a “bastard step-child” within the Wing.  But I became determined to do with it, what I could – to make it better for me having been there.

At my first meeting with the squadron folks I told them I would be leaving in 2 years; as a Colonel selectee, or a civilian selectee – and that I didn’t give a shit which one!  And, at the time, I didn’t.  I went on to tell everyone that I had, at one time or another, performed the jobs they all had, and that I was no where interested in “micro-managing” their jobs.  I then told them that their performance reports would be written on how well they performed with their own initiative – not with my continued direction.

I did explain however, that when I would give them a task, I would ensure they had adequate training and resources for that task – and that I would provide “mid-course guidance” as I saw fit.  That was about it.

My next endeavor was to “clean house.”  The Student Squadron had become a dumping ground for slackards.  Folks who were just biding their time to get out to head off to the airlines.  Or  dead beats.  I had no use for any of them, and soon began getting rid of them.  Nothing personal; I just don’t care for slackards.

Then I began to look for ways to draw attention to the good things the folks in the squadron were doing – day in, and day out.  I did this several ways.  I became more aggressive at inserting “my guys” into Wing activities and projects.  I began using my Ops Officer and myself as a “quality control” feature for my IPs when they came up for check rides.  Both Bob and I had Stan Eval experience, and I decided to put it to use.  We would offer our services to an IP the week before his/her check ride was due – and sometimes the acceptance of the offer wasn’t mandatory!

Over the 18 months I held command of the squadron I think we did pretty good – overall.  Could I have done better?  Could I have done more?  Oh sure… if I had had my head out of my ass!  But, for “where I was at the time,” now looking back, I didn’t do too bad for the folks… and I am grateful I had the opportunity to command those folks.

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My Trip to Denmark – 41 Years Later…

Our UPT (Undergraduate Pilot Training) Class, 71-07G, graduated at Randolph Field, TX on 24 April 1971.  One of our classmates, Chris Knudsen, was from Denmark.  At the graduation reception Chris invited me to come and visit Denmark.  I knew I would; I just didn’t know it would take 41 years!

Last week, 15 – 20 Jun 2012, I finally made it!  And, I had a great time!

Chris and Rie, his current wife (of 42 years+), live on a beautiful farm in Southern Denmark.  I used to think I worked hard around my place, until I saw his!  Their farm is absolutely gorgeous.  (Now I think I am a ‘slackard!’)

The house was built in 1834, and is absolutely charming.  I had the whole upstairs to myself!

Chris and Rie took their vacation to show Denmark to me, and we had a ball!  I saw Hans Christian Anderson’s house, the Mermaid in Copenhagen and a former German prisoner of war camp for Danish resistance fighters.  Sobering.  We also visited an old Danish castle.  They really knew how to live!

This is Chris and I in 2010; at a ‘mini’ reunion in San Antonio.

…and now today,

…on their back porch.

It is at visits like this that I fully realize how fortunate I have been in life; to have friends like Chris and Rie.  One could not ask for any better!  I truly love these guys…

                                                             Rie and Chris, 20 Jun 2012

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“Persons to Be Decorated…”

We were flying our asses off in the summer of ’76, and it was hot at Vance AFB, OK that year.  But it was fun!  Little did we know how much fun it really was…

One day General John Roberts, Commander of Air Training Command (ATC), showed up for a visit.  After his visit, he taxied out in a T-38A for his flight back to San Antonio.  As he approached Runway 17C for departure, a local T-38 showed up with an emergency of some kind or another.  General Roberts had to hold for the subsequent recovery.  Apparently our Wing Commander had followed General Roberts out in his staff car.  While the General was content to sit and watch the operation, our wing commander was having somewhat of a “hissy fit.”  He wanted to ensure General Roberts received preferential treatment, with respect to departure sequencing.

As it turned out, the runway supervisory unit (RSU) controller was a ‘junior officer,’ a first lieutenant.  Learning this only fueled the wing commander’s angst.  Soon thereafter, he directed all first lieutenant controllers be relieved of RSU Controller duties!  This really crippled our operations, as these guys, while relatively ‘young,’ were very capable.  But nonetheless, they were all taken off RSU Controller orders.

In August 1976 we had a change of command of wing commanders.  A parade was called for.  There are few things I know of uglier than marching pilots!  Lt. Col. Jerry Hodgson, our beloved Ops Officer, was put in charge of the parade.  I don’t know what the hell he did, but, oh well…

We practiced for two or three days before the actual change of command.  Flying was terminated just before noon for us to muster on the parade field.  The practices began about 1300 hrs., and it was HOT out there!  The first day was a disaster.  Jerry just sat in the viewing stands, shaking his head, watching his career go South!  After practice, we headed over to a base cafeteria and with a few beers, began to get everything sorted out.  Day Two went much better out on the parade field.  There was hope…

On Day Three it was all coming together.  The squadron formations all looked great.  Jerry looked pleased.  Then came the command; “Persons to be decorated” was shouted out, and some lackey from behind me responded, “All First Lieutenant RSU Controllers!” – and the formation busted up!  Jerry just put his face in his hands, and we all laughed our asses off!

Maybe you had to have been there.  For those of us who were, it was funny as hell!

 

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Christmas, the Year ‘Round

A few years ago I had the opportunity to visit some dear friends in San Antonio; Harry and Louise.  As we settled down in their den for a visit, I noticed their Christmas tree still standing.  It was probably mid-summer at the time.  “Okay,” I wondered, “what’s that about?”  So, I asked.

Harry and Louise both have had some significant health “issues” over the years.  To the point where sometimes they have not known if they would share another Christmas together, or not.  So, they decided to keep there tree up the year ’round; I suppose to reflect upon Christmas, the year ’round…

I first met Louise in 1988 as I was shopping for an airline interview costume (suit).  She was working at a local men’s clothing store, and she was the “go-to-gal” all the guys in the squadron used for their suits.  For some reason or another, we hit it off right away.  We both share the same (sick) sense of humor, and irreverence toward “politically correct” educated pretty people…

In the ensuing years, Louise and I shared many conversations.  They were “lighthearted” conversations, yet laced with wisdom.  It was her ‘wisdom’ that grabbed my attention.  Eventually I met Harry, and liked him immediately.  As it turned out, Harry and Louise both knew my Dad!  Small world…

About 5 or 6 years ago I found this small, ragged Christmas tree.  I loved it immediately, and found a place for it in my bedroom. I could “relate” to that tree…

After that first Christmas, I just couldn’t pack it away.  So, I just left it there.  Wasn’t quite sure why at first, but then it came to me.  It’s my ‘connection’ to sharing my life with two very special people who helped me so much in early sobriety.  I keep it lit 24/7 these days, and  it never fails: Harry and Louise “visit” me every time I see it… and for that, I am ever so grateful.

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The Men in My Life…

All my life it seems I have ‘gravitated’ towards certain men in my life – men of “character.”  Harry is the latest; Harry is a man of “character.”

My Dad was a man of “character” also, I suppose.  But he had little-to-no time for any of us – our family – as we were growing up.  He would rather drink.  This is by no means meant to say that we never did anything as a family, but more often than not, dear ole Dad just wasn’t there… So, I looked elsewhere for male mentors.

Among the first I found were my uncles.  Uncle Waldo, Uncle Bib, Uncle Chuck, Uncle Bob and Uncle George were the prominent ones.  Not all at once mind you, but at different periods of my life as I matured into a man.  Then there was Carl Gamble, and certain of you in the Air Force.  While you were my Commanders, and supervisors, and on occasion, peers, maybe without knowing it, you were also my “mentors.”  And that meant a great deal to me.

Each of you brought certain values to me; values that eventually shaped me.  Waldo showed me a sense of stability; Bib gave me a work ethic; Chuck inspired me with his never-ending inquisitiveness and Bob – Bob is “to blame” for my warped sense of humor!

Carl showed me what it means to be gracious and George showed me the meaning of kindness and generosity.  Each of you from the Air Force also contributed ‘parts’ that eventually made me whole as a commander at the pinnacle of my career.  As “hard” as I can be on myself, I think I was not a “half-bad” commander, all things considered…

Before I got sober, as each of you would leave – as each of you died – I would get so damned drunk, and so angry!  I would ask God why He took Uncle Chuck, or Uncle Bob or whoever, and not dear ole Dad!   Gawd-damnit!  Why did he have to take the men in my Life that I loved?  I was so “into myself” during that period of drinking… so self-absorbed.

Last Thursday evening Harry had a seizure.   I didn’t learn of it until Saturday.  In a cat scan they discovered a brain tumor… and yes, I’m scared.

Harry is home now; and is in good spirits.  Today I hope to spend some time with him – just to be with him.  Harry is a man of character; and I have yet, so much to learn from him… as I do yet, from all of you – the Men in My Life…

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Memorial Day – 2012

My daughter-in-law sent this picture to me last night.

Noah is almost 4 now.  I don’t know if he can yet grasp the significance of his gesture here, but I do.  His military lineage goes back at least 4 generations…  I think we would all be proud of him.

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Gratitude…

There are some moments in sobriety that just do not need explanation.  These are two of them:

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Benches

Had the opportunity to head out  Colorado last week (10 – 14 May) for Chris and Dana’s college graduations.  I decided to drive out as I had made benches for the kids.  Getting the benches in my car (1995 BMW M3) was a thrill!

I enjoy making things for the kids vs. buying cheap, very pretty, Chinese shit that makes noise – over, and over, and over… I just don’t arbitrarily grab a board and begin cutting; I select a ‘wood’ for each kid – based upon what I see as reflective of their unique personalities.  So, here is what I came up with.

(Until I figure out how to put a caption under each individual photo, a narrative will have to do!)

Delaney’s bench is cherry.  It’s a  rich, soft appearing wood, that will continue to grow even prettier with age.  Katie’s bench is ‘rustic maple.’  It is strong, beautiful, and carries a ‘country flavor’ to it.  Riley’s bench is canary wood, from Brazil.  It is full of ‘fire.’  Nothing more need be said.  Garrett’s bench is constructed of red oak; a wood that is strong and of great character.

It was fun building these benches.  By selecting a specific wood for each kid, I got to “spend time” with that kid as I built their bench.  How cool is that?

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“My Gawd, I’m Going 1,000 miles an hour!”

We were all in a safety briefing one day, in Room 45, Hanger 12 – the 560th FTS.  A flight surgeon was rambling on about something or another – something we should, or should not do, when he began telling us a story about flying F-105s in Southeast Asia.  Then we began paying attention!  This guy had been a pilot, then went on to become a flight surgeon.  I was sitting next to Ken K., who worked in Flight Safety.

Anyway, the flight surgeon began telling us about a strike ‘up North’ one day where Number 4 was a new guy.  As the flight rolled in on the target, all kinds of crap began coming up at them.  Apparently it was a real fur-ball!  Smoke, missiles, airplanes, radio chatter everywhere.  As the flight came off the target and was egressing they formed up again as a formation – everyone except Nr. 4.  The flight lead called a radio check:  “X-Flight, check,” to which came the crisp reply – “2,” “3,” “4.”  But there was no ‘4’ in the formation.

As Lead looked around he called for “4” to give him a radio “hold down.”  “4” held down the appropriate radio frequency and Lead’s indicator showed “4” was somewhere out in front of the formation!

“4,” Lead called, “Where are you?”  4 gave his position which in fact, put him out in front of the formation.  Lead then asked what his altitude was and 4 replied, “I’m on the deck, Sir!”  Then Lead asked what his airspeed was – and 4 responded, “My Gawd Sir, I’m going 1,000 miles per hour!”   Apparently when he came off target, to ‘bug out,’ 4 had left the throttle in burner – and one thing the Thud could do was go real fast, real low!

As the flight surgeon wrapped up the story, Ken leaned over to me and whispered, “That was me!”  I cracked up – and it was fun to watch the subsequent reunion after the briefing…

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Ms.Y

Mrs. Yuhnke, “Ms. Y,” was my secretary when I was the Chief of Safety for the 71st FTW, Vance AFB, OK, 1977 – 1978.  In retrospect, I think Ms. Y was the Chief of Safety, and I was just allowed to wear the costume and play the part.

At the time, Ms. Y was around 56 or so, and had worked at Vance ever since we took the property from the Indians – or so it seemed.  And, she was a “lady,” above everything else.

One afternoon my wife Susan stopped by.  We all chatted a bit, then I had to fly.  As I was grabbing my gear, I overheard Ms. Y ask Susan, “Mrs. Holliker, will you tell Capt. Holliker to take his uniform home?”  I kept a “blues” uniform in an old steel locker in a back room in case I was called to Headquarters for a formal ass-chewing.  (Routine ass-chewings could be received in flight suits.)  I to this day, have no idea why that uniform bothered her, but it did…

About this time the ‘Carol Burnett Show’ was popular.  In frequent skits you could hear ‘Eunice’ tell ‘Mama;’ “Oh nag, nag, nag, you old woman…”  And to this day, I don’t know why that came to mind as I walked out the door?  And so, Captain Holliker is heard to say as he heads for the door, “Oh nag, nag, nag, you old woman!”

Ms. Y didn’t hesitate a bit.  The next thing I heard her say was, “Mrs. Holliker, if he was my husband, I’d tell him to take that broom over there, shove it up his ass, and sweep the floor on his way out!”  I lost it!  That just cracked me up!  I had never heard a single ‘curse word’ from Ms. Y until that day…

Ms. Y and I remained dear friends until she passed a few years ago.  On occasion either she or I would call; and talk, and laugh and a couple times I think I may have cried.  She was a sweetheart, and I will always love her.  And today, when I walk by a broom, I keep my mouth shut; and subconsciously, squeeze my cheeks together – just a little bit…

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