I didn’t get a “scholarship” into sobriety – no DUIs, not “wife-ordered,” nor court ordered, nor any work issues. I was just ‘sick-and-tired’ of being ‘sick-and-tired!’
In the end, of my drinking, I would get up in the morning and ask God to keep me from drinking that day, only to open my first can of Bud Light at 0830! From my perspective, what’s the problem of having a beer ‘before noon’ if you are not an alcoholic. Keep in mind, this was my perspective! It also shows you how my brain is ‘wired’ different than most… or was.
When I was a child I attended Lutheran catechism for 3 years while we were in Puerto Rico. Once a week for two years, then twice a week for the last year. It was this “instruction” that had served as my ‘spiritual foundation.’ So when I felt all was lost; when I felt so lost, I turned to the only place I knew – to the Lutheran church – although I had never been in that particular church. I called the pastor and asked if I could come talk with him, and he graciously invited me to come over.
We talked, I talked, for the better of 45 minutes or so when he asked me, “Why are you so angry?”
“I don’t know,” I answered in frustration, “and that pisses me off. I am not an angry man!” And yet, I was…
He then suggested I contact a fellow he had used in the past to refer folks to – a shrink who specialized in chemical addiction. I came home and gave the guy a call; and was able to get an appointment. Then to celebrate the fact that I was doing something positive for myself, I decided to have a beer! And I got very drunk that night… but I felt good – I was doing something positive about my drinking!
Was I “nuts?” You have to ask?