“If I Hadn’t Seen it with My Own Eyes….”

During one of my early discussions with Bev, I told her I never ‘really’ felt part of my family – that I always felt somewhat of an ‘outsider.’  I went on to tell her that in my mind, it was always, ‘Sue and the kids; and Bob.’

“Oh Bob,” Bev retorted in her soft, kind, compassionate manner, “that’s bullshit, and you know it!”  I went on to tell her that I had felt that way for some time now, and she just dismissed it…

A short time later my daughter, Dana, graduated from high school.  Her Uncle David, Sue’s younger brother, flew out for the occasion.  At some point we called Bev and invited her and her father to meet us for dinner at a Chinese place in Bowling Green.

It was a Sunday afternoon when we met and the restaurant wasn’t too crowded at all.  We all sat in a large wrap-around booth and had a nice meal.  After dinner, Sue and the kids, and David went shopping – and I came home.

I hadn’t been home but maybe 10 minutes when the phone rang.  It was Bev.

“Bob,” she began, “if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it!  It was as if you weren’t at dinner!”  Then she continued, “That was one of the damnest things I have ever seen.  You were completely ignored, and not just by Sue!”  Now she knew of what I had spoken earlier.

When I drank it was easier to tolerate, and ignore myself.  And to pretend – (I’m so good at pretending) – that it didn’t matter.  But it did…

Today I have a great relationship with my son – and I am so grateful for it!  Not so much with my daughter, yet…

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