Kihelakayo

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Jim’s Dumb Kid…

Jim was our statistician at Command Flight Safety.  He was a civilian, but had flown P-51s in WW II.  He was a gentle, quiet man, but when he spoke, he was very knowledgeable.  Often what he had to say was very enlightening.  Most days he sat in the back of our office, keeping to himself, entering or pouring over flight safety data.

I saw Jim answer the phone one afternoon.  He just listened, without comment.  When he hung up, he just sat there for a moment, staring at his desk.  Then he got up and told us he had to go…

The next morning when Jim showed up, we asked him if he were ‘okay.’

“Oh, I’m okay,” he responded, “I’ve just got the dumbest kid in the world!”

We all looked at each other, then at Jim.

He went on to say, “Seems yesterday my kid drove up to a drive-in window at the bank just off base.  He was behind in his $128 car payment, so he hands the teller a note, demanding $256!  He tells her he has a gun, and that this is a robbery!  At the damned drive-in window!

The teller is astonished.  She gets busy doing this or that, after initiating the silent alarm.  My kid just sits there.

After a few minutes or so he tells her to hurry up, that he doesn’t have all day!  And soon the cops do show up.  After 10  – 12 minutes or so!  The dumb-ass kid sits there for 10 minutes – for $256!”

Jim is just bewildered.  The poor guy.  We all are kind of speechless.  What can you say to something like this?

The kid eventually went to jail – for $256.  I don’t know if Jim ever did get over it… he was such a good man, but he did have a dumb-ass for a kid.

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The Essence of Sobriety…

  Grampa Bob, and Noah…

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The Last Cheater’s Waltz

In 1980 I received orders to Australia.  I was working at Headquarters Air Training Command, Flight Safety at the time – as a T-38 Flight Safety Officer.  As my departure date neared ‘they’ asked me where I wanted to go for my Sawadee (Thai for ‘going away) party.

We had so often gone to this one restaurant that I was on a first-name basis with the staff.  The food was excellent, but ‘Com’ on man!’  So I suggested a pig roast.

“Have you ever roasted a pig?” someone asked.

“No,” I replied, “but how hard can it be?”

Mikey, a very dear friend from the office, who had previously worked with me at Vance AFB, OK, had a source for a hog – so we were good to go!

We took off work on a Thursday afternoon, hopped in my Ford F-100 pickup, ‘O-Bewdy’ and picked up the pig from this rancher in South Texas.  In those days it was ‘legal’ to drink and drive – you just couldn’t be drunk, and drive.  Well, hell…

As we came back though Universal City on our way to the Hill Country, where the party was going to be held, Mikey and I decided to stop for a burger.  So we grabbed the pig from the back and wrestled it into the front seat between us.  After securing it, we headed through MacDonald’s drive in.

Our order?  Well, a couple burgers, some fries and 1 ear of corn, of course!  We had drinks, thank you!  The gal at the window didn’t know what to say when she saw “our date!”  And Mikey and I both kept straight faces!  I’ve often wondered what she told her friends after work that day…

So we get the pig up to the roasting site, and it’s time to prepare it.  LC, who owned the property, had a pistol and it was left to me to shoot it.

Mikey, who’s birthday was yesterday, reminded me of this story as we talked about my new blog here.  He went on to say that he, LC and another friend from the office, Bob S. all ran for cover as I took aim!  I don’t remember that at all?  However, soon the pig was ready for ‘prep’ for the pit.

As it turned out, the party was a great success, and I think everyone had a good time, except the pig..

                                                    Me, LC, Mikey, and the pig…..

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Okiksapa 2: Thunderstorms

We just had a wonderful thunderstorm roll through Whitehouse, OH tonight.  Have you ever noticed how much greener the grass is after a thunderstorm?   This is because the lightening releases nitrogen  in the air, which is then picked up by rain drops.  Nature’s own fertilizer.  Of course, all this happens without approval from the EPA, USDA or anyone else in government.

Amazing…

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The 15th Annual POW Dining In Missing Man Formation

On 25 Mar 1988 I had the Honor of flying as Number 3 in the 15th Annual Prisoner Of War (POW) Dining In T-38A Missing Man Formation.  This is a great honor because of the distinguished audience; former North Vietnamese POWs.  It is also a puts the aircrews under a bit of stress as there is no more critical audience for such a flyover than a collection of Fighter Pilots – no matter how old they might be!  So I knew going in, I would have to be on my “A” game.

For those not familiar with a Missing Man Formation, it is a formation we fly at special occasions to honor fallen comrades.  Typically at a critical point as the aircraft pass overhead, the ‘Number 3’ ship pulls “crisply” out of the formation – climbing into the heavens.

The annual POW Dining In has been held each year in March, since 1974.  Our POWs were released from their cells in North Vietnam in the spring of 1973.  The 560th Flying Training Squadron (FTS) was the unit that conducted their re-qualification back into the cockpit.

The day before our scheduled fly-by, we flew a ‘work-up’ for the mission; to look the ingress heading and the pull-up timing.  You just don’t want to “screw-up” something like this.  Just before I stepped (out of the building), the ADO (Assistant Director of Operations) came up to me and told me that I was not to use ‘burners,’ the afterburners, on “the pull.”  It was ‘against the rule.’  As if I didn’t know…

Engine start, taxi and takeoff went as briefed.  We were then sent to a holding pattern with flights of other aircraft that would be participating in the fly by.  As it worked out, we were stacked just above a flight of RF-4s from Bergstrom AFB, TX.  As I listened to the radio chatter I thought I recognized their flight lead’s voice.  “Is this ‘2-Beer Bob?” I inquired.  It was!

After the RF-4s made their pass it was our turn.  The way the run-in is structured is, we come in from the South.  The POWs and Dining In attendees all assemble on the patio of the Officer’s Club.  The swimming pool in front of them makes for a great aim point.  So, in we came.  I was on the right side of Lead.  By the rule, 300 knots at 1,000 feet.  At the designated pull-up point, I transitioned smartly into a climb.  Only the jet didn’t respond.  It just kind of “puked.”  We were too slow, and it was too hot, and I was way underpowered!  The jet just mushed.  Fuckin’ ADO…

I then rejoined the formation for another pass.  Same results; mush.  The next day however, was a different story.

When we came in for the “hot pass” the next day, I thought about what those guys went through all those years “up North.”  Then I thought about our “self-serving” ADO, and I knew what I was going to do.  Without saying anything to the guy I was flying with, I lit the burners just before the pull – and up we went.  This time we were quite a bit lighter on fuel, so the jet just rocketed into the heavens!  I was quite pleased.

Shortly after I began the climb, the remaining 3-ship began a shallow turn to the right to position the formation for recovery.  Just before reaching the top of our climb, I rolled to the right and picked up the formation down below.  At this time we was about 5 to 6 thousand feet above them.  I continued my roll and allowed the nose to “float” down – bringing the jet to almost the same heading as the 3-ship.  One of the most beautiful ‘outside barrel-rolls’ I ever flew!  Now our flight path was just a bit outside of their turn.  I didn’t want to “dig” my nose in too far down as I wanted to gain airspeed on them.  It worked like a champ!  As I came around the turn with them, perhaps 3-4 miles in trail, I had about 150 knots of overtake on them.  Sweet!  The guy-in-back was telling me, “Colonel, you have 150 knots of overtake now!”  I just ignored him…

It wasn’t long before they were lined up with the runway, on initial, for landing, and I was closing fast.  About 4  miles out from the field, I rejoined in the Number 4 position, and “clicked” my mic button, to let them know I was there.  We took off as a formation of 4, and I was bound and determined we were going to land as a formation of 4.  In my mind, there is just no other way.  In years past, I had always seen a 3-ship, followed by a single, on recovery.  I always thought that sucked.  The only job of a wingman is, to be there!  And you do what you have to do, to do this.

In the debrief, I was asked how I did the rejoin.  I didn’t say much; I just told them, “You do what you have to do.”  And that was that.

In the pull…

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My Sense of Humor…

I have developed my sense of humor since I was a kid.  I enjoy seeing people laugh.  I have always had a “quick mind;” sometimes too quick for my own good.  Growing up I idolized the humor of Red Skelton, Dean Martin, and Jackie Gleason.  In later years I was drawn to Johnny Carson, Robin Williams, Tim Conway and Harvey Korman.  I don’t know if there’s anyone out there today who really catches my attention…

My greatest ‘mentor,’ with respect to humor, was my Uncle Bob (Garrison).  He was one of a kind!  He could make me laugh by saying ‘good morning,’  and he was “quick!”  He could also “spin a yarn” to where you never knew if he was telling you a “story,” or not.  I could listen to him for hours!

One of the last things Uncle Bob did before he passed was, he had to take a physical.  While waiting he turn he noticed an old, “battle-ax,” nasty nurse – ordering people around.  Bob didn’t tolerate nasty folks very well at all.  When it was his turn for lab work, she ordered him into the Men’s Room, telling him she needed a urine sample.  She went on to say, “You’ll find the cups on a tray,” in a somewhat condescending tone.

Uncle Bob went into the Men’s room, found the tray, and filled 8 or 9 cups.  Then he came out, with the tray, and told the nurse, “I’m sorry, I could only fill 8 or 9 of the cups.  I tried very hard to fill ’em all, but this is the best I cold do!”  It’s a wonder he didn’t spill the tray all over her.  I don’t know how he kept from laughing himself!

Now, every time I go into a doctor’s office, I’m prepared!

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Kinda Sums It Up…

I picked this little “gem” up just the other day:

“If you can learn to fly as a Lieutenant,

and not forget how to fly by the time you’re a Lieutenant Colonel,  you will have lived a happy Life!”

…Oh, how true this is!  I flew twice on my last day on active duty.  My first mission was a student training mission at 0900.  Then my last flight, my “Fini Flight,” was at 1530…

 

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Babies Bring their Own Love…

It was around 0500 that I received the call from Dana telling me that my first grand daughter had arrived.  Delaney Paige.  I was thrilled!

I got up, shaved and took a shower.  Then I put on a nice pair nice slacks, sport coat and tie.  In a half-hour I was on my way.

St. Luke’s Hospital is only 7 or 8 miles away, so it didn’t take me long to get there.  As I crossed the tracks just before the hospital a thought came to mind, “What if she doesn’t like me?”  Where did that come from?

I know this ‘thinking’ is a byproduct of a ‘sick mind.’  I had only been in recovery for 4 years or so (from alcoholism).  But nonetheless, there it was – and I was petrified.  I felt as if I had hurt so many people by that time, and the last thing I wanted was, someone else “pissed off” at me.  It was still very early, and I wanted a beer!  It was a real struggle for me to pull into that hospital parking lot… but I did.

I got out of my car, and had to literally put one foot in front of the other to get into the hospital.  I was not “comfortable” at all.

I had heard once, that ‘babies bring their own love’ when they come into the world.  This is so true!  When I walked into that room, that morning, and first layed my eyes on Delaney, all that “angst” released!  It was gone!  Just like that; gone…

I didn’t stay long that morning, maybe a half-hour or so.  As I left the parking lot a feeling came over me that I had never felt before.  It was magic!  I had never felt “so good,” and I couldn’t grasp it.  So I called a friend, also in the program of AA, described my feeling and asked him what it was all about.

“Bob,” he said, “that is ‘joy.'”  I had to let that sink in for a bit – I don’t know if I had ever experienced pure joy before, and I loved it!  It felt so good that when I got home, I called Dana and asked her when she was having another kid!

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A Friend from ’64

I have a friend today, from 1964.  She broke my heart once, but that was so long ago, and not important.  What is ‘important’ is that she showed back up in my life, when I needed a friend – and I am so ever grateful….

Thank you Patte…

 

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