“Captain, You Didn’t Win a Thing…”

Was on my way out to Vegas one Friday afternoon.  Had just signed out, suited up and was about to walk out the door, helmet and flight plan in hand when I heard a voice behind me, “Colonel, hold on a second…”

I turned and there was this captain approaching me with a 20-dollar bill in his hand.  When he caught up to me he said, “I saw where you are going to Vegas.”

“Why, yes I am,” I replied.

“Well Sir, ” he continued, “how about taking this 20 bucks and see what you can do?”

I was a bit uncomfortable with the idea because of all the emphasis on “conflict of interest” that had just begun surfacing.  I expressed my concern to which the young captain replied, “Sir, I’m not worried, you’re one of the ‘good guys.'”  (I was.)  In the interest of time, I took his 20 bucks, stuffed it in my flight suit and headed out to the jet.

That next Monday, at ‘oh-dark–thirty’ I had just gotten my coffee and was heading back tot he office when I saw the young captain in the hallway.  “Hey colonel,” he exclaimed, “how much did we do?”

I looked at him and replied, “You won’t believe how well you did!”

“Oh,” he said, “how much did we win?”  His eyes got even wider with anticipation at this point.  I then told him, “Captain, you didn’t win a thing; you got laid!”

The look on his face: priceless.  (And yes, I returned his 20 bucks…)

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One Response to “Captain, You Didn’t Win a Thing…”

  1. Jerry Hodgson says:

    I’m really disappointed that you didn’t include in your “pranks” section the story about how you stole my underwear the time I went cross-country, and the person to person, collect, phone call you received to comment on my “shorts” shortage. Should you include it at a later date, please include the charges for our 30 minute phone call…Williams AFB to your house off-base at Randolph in Universal City.

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