2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power
“They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.”
Beverley used to tell me (over and over and over again), that ‘…no person, place, thing or event’ has any more power over you than YOU choose to give it. This is so true, yet so difficult to understand, at first.
Let me give you an example. On August 17, 1967, at 1332hrs., Sandy W. broke up with me in her driveway, just outside of Custar, OH. Out of nowhere, she just told me we ‘weren’t an item’ anymore. I was devastated… I drove home that afternoon, then spent the next 3 days in my room, languishing in agony. When I eventually came out of my 3-day exile, I vowed I would never allow anyone to get that close to me ever again – and for a long time, I didn’t.
I also used August 17 every year, for the next 27 years, as an opportunity to get drunk. As if I needed an excuse! August 17th would come and go for everyone else without hardly anyone noticing, but I would get rip-roaring drunk! The “power” I gave that day; that event; that girl – for all those years.
I always wondered ‘why’ she dumped me. Then in 1995, as August 17th approached, I was talking with Beverley about it and she said, “Why don’t you call her, and ask her?” Holy crap! Really? So, I did…
When Sandy answered the phone, and was genuinely excited to hear from me, all that “angst” released! Who knew? It just released, and I have hardly thought about any of it at all. Now August 17th comes and goes every year, and I hardly notice at all… I just don’t ‘give it the power’ any more…