And so I actually attended a high school reunion last week – my 50th. I was ‘a little’ apprehensive as I drove to San Antonio, but not as much as I had been before. I guess it was time. And I am so glad I went!
I graduated from General H.H. Arnold High School in 1964; in Wiesbaden, West Germany. I can remember that first day so clearly. I walked to school that day, found a desk against the wall in my home room, and I hunkered down! Gen. H.H. Arnold was my 4th high school, in 4 years (in 3 countries). As I watched the interaction of the other kids, kids who had been there for 2 to 3 years, I withdrew even further. Maybe a fear of rejection drove me even deeper into my self-imposed isolation? The insecurities and ‘fear’ of a 16-year old didn’t help either I suppose. At any rate I kept my head down that year and somehow struggled through it…
Doc Holaday is one guy who I have stayed in touch with since high school. He and I were on the soccer team together. Over the past 10 – 15 years he has encouraged me to attend many of these reunions, but my sick mind kept telling me, “What’s the point, no one would remember me anyway.” About a year and a half ago he once again mentioned our reunion, telling me that I would enjoy myself. So this year I agreed to attend – and you know what? He was right; we were both right!
I attended this year, and I had a great time – and I didn’t know anyone else! But I knew ‘who’ they were; I knew who you were. I knew a good many of the names of the folks in attendance, and their “affiliations.” I knew the “jocks,” the “intellects” (from National Honor Society), the cheerleaders, the Prom Court, the class officers and so forth. Yes, I “knew” who you were, but I didn’t know any of you. And last week I “met” you; and this week came to love you…
I suppose this is nothing more than yet another affirmation that behind “fear” is “love.” And once I could shed that fear I carried for so long, I found love. Once I shed the “lies of a 16-year old,” I found love. And this morning, it just “feels” so good…