I stopped in the local PNC Bank yesterday to open a business account. Seems simple enough…
As I sat there I was somewhat ‘overwhelmed’ with laundry list of things I would need to open such an account. It has gotten so much more restrictive than it was 10 – 15 years ago. “For my own protection,” I’m sure.
The guy helping me is a good kid, maybe 33 – 35 years old, and looks real spiffy in his nice suit. And on and on he droned about everything I would need, that I didn’t have – taking great pains to explain to me that it wasn’t his fault; that it is what our Federal government now demands. After 5 minutes or so I transitioned into a posture of “auto-nod.” Then to add excitement to the equation, I told him that the other guy who is going to be on the account lives in North Carolina! Oh crap.
After 15 minutes or so of bureaucratic BS that I was having troubles following, I told him it would probably be best for him to contact his ‘handlers’ at PNC headquarters, and find out exactly what I would need to open such an account – with minimal pain. As we were wrapping up our conversation he said, “What you are doing is really a great idea. I wonder what you might have in mind next.”
So, with the door opened, I walked through. “Well Zak, funny you should ask. I will soon be introducing a line of custom-made ‘Bullshit Flags.'”
He cocked his head, looking at me, not sure of what he had just heard. So I continued.
“I think there is a market for such a product – custom made Bullshit Flags. You know Zak, for when you are sitting in a bank to open an a business account and the banker just goes on and on about everything of little actual consequence that you’ll need to open such an account. Rather than argue with the guy, you can just reach down, pull out your Bullshit Flag, and calmly begin waving it.”
He stood there looking at me, not quite sure he was hearing what I was saying. His look was confused – priceless. Then he got this nervous little smile, thinking it was a joke. It isn’t! LOL!
I can’t wait until I go back in to open another business account – to produce custom-made Bullshit Flags!