On Robin Williams…

Last night we received word of Robin Williams (apparent) suicide.  Tragic.

As you might imagine the News is all over this story this morning.  Tributes; for sure. Speculation; all over the place.  Reviews of his work; almost non-stop.

One of the sound bites that caught my attention this morning is what he said about ‘sadness.’  Holy crap I can relate… that damn sadness!  Gawd damn it – that sadness – ever lurking in my shadows.

My last visit was maybe 6 months or so ago, in early April – just before my 50th high school reunion.  I was wondering, “What’s the point of it all?”  But somehow I found the inspiration to attend the reunion – and that made a huge impact on me.  I am beginning to see the ‘point of it all.’  It’s not at all, ‘about me;’  it’s about being there for others.

Last summer I began the “BratPin” project; an initiative to recognize and honor Military Brats for their – for our – service to our nation.  I have received many kind comments for my efforts.  What these folks, what these Brats don’t realize is, they are saving my life – that it is me who is so grateful.  With every comment I feel embraced by an extended family.  I feel ‘love,’ something I have avoided for so many, many years… just maybe there is ‘love’ in this world for me?

Beverly, an early sponsor of mine, told me that suicide is the ultimate “fuck you.”  And I believe it.  I have been to it’s threshold, many times.  And it sucks…

I had a counsellor who just sat back and looked at me one day, just grinning at me.  He sat there for perhaps a minute or so, just grinning.  Then he said, “Bob, we’ve been working together for the better part of 3 years now, and I can’t determine if you are the simplest person I have ever worked with, or the most complex.”  I heard that again this morning, as someone was describing Robin Williams.  You might think it ‘funny,’ but sometimes it isn’t.  It can be tormenting at times.  Behind the mask of the “Happy Bob.”

I have often lamented that I would have loved the opportunity to sit down with Robin and Jonathan Winters at an outside restaurant table somewhere, and just “had a go” with them.  No, I am not anywhere as “quick” as either of those two, but it would have been fun (for me) to have tried!

This morning I am a ‘bit’ sad, but not enough to descend back into my own personal Hell today.  More than ‘sad,’ I am grateful – grateful this morning that it wasn’t me…

GBU Robin…


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2 Responses to On Robin Williams…

  1. Karen Floyd says:

    I too reflected on the loss of Robin Williams and wondered if someone had just once not laughed, if just once someone would have looked past the funny, into his soul, maybe not taking for granted those unpromised breaths that Robin took….in between jokes, and said to him….”I feel your pain, I may or may not understand it, but you are important to the world, you matter (even if only to one) and I am grateful for
    You”! Bob, you have been a valued friend for many years, but I do reflect often, thinking about my mother, about you, (and so many others) that if by passing through life as I am, (especially now that we are all engrossed in the world of social media), it appears that I take for granted the daily pain and suffering, not showing (outwardly) my appreciation for the next breath that God has given. I am immensely blessed to call you a friend, my world is better for knowing you….and I really mean that! Our lives have crossed over in so many aspects…so I get it, I get the things you talk about, the stories you tell, the reflections you share, the sadness, the pain and many, many good times! I truly get it! I look forward to hearing what you have to say…..about politics, about life! About sad and happy! Your mission to unite Brats and bring recognition to a group where most understand your pain all to well, is truly inspiring. Do you really understand and believe that? I hope that somehow through the loss of Robin Williams, a comedic icon, individuals will be reminded how it important it is to reach out to those we love and that we appreciate each other and love each other through the good times and the bad, the dark days and the brightest of times! We all need to support each other and through your mission with military Brats, you are providing a support catalyst that reaches around the world! We need you Bob! And I, for one, am grateful for your friendship! RIP RW! And thanks Bob for being my friend and bringing laughter and light into my world! ❤️

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