“Two’s In…”

I have a good friend who has battled one physical ailment after another for the better part of 35 – 40 years now.  Cancer, radiation treatment, a serious fall, botched surgeries and so forth.  Recently he had an “event” (docs ain’t sure – stroke, seizure, brain tumor, what-ever) that rendered him unconscious for 2-3 days.  After he was stabilized, the ‘medicos’ set him up for a battery of tests, to begin about a month after his ‘event.’

I have seen what this ‘event’ has taken out of him this time.  He hasn’t quite bounced back.  Don’t know if he will.  about two weeks ago he cancelled all his appointments.  Like he said, “Bob, I’m just tired of all this shit.”  I can ‘relate…’

I asked him what his plan is – not following up with his medical appointments.  He told me it was to live each day to the fullest, and see what happens.  “One Day at a Time;” where have I heard that?

I don’t have any ‘serious’ physical issues, that I am aware of today – but I have been dealing with a couple ’emotional’ issues.  A couple have been with me for a long as my friend’s physical issues have been with him… to where I am tired.  Just tired of resisting, of fighting… I can feel the fatigue in my body this morning.

A couple-3 days ago a friend mentioned to me, “Oh Bob, you are such a ‘goofball!”  Yep, Bob’s a ‘goofball.’  Have been all my life.  Either that, or the “class clown,” or a goofy ‘fuck,’ or what-ever.

I have heard the ‘whispers behind my back’ all my life.  Have pretended they didn’t matter, that they didn’t hurt… but they did.   They do.  Well, no more pretending, I’m tired…

I am not of the conviction to “do anything rash,” but if my friend departs, I would welcome the opportunity to be his Wingman – when the time comes…

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