I begin each morning these days with a daily meditation. I read it, then reflect upon it throughout the day. This year I am using a book entitled, “Meditations with Native American Elders,” by Don L. Coyhis. It is a collection of thoughts of various Native American Elders, and resonates so deep within me. Often I have heard these things before, but it is so good to hear them again.
A few days ago the topic was ‘choices.’ The text began with, “Having choices makes us fully accountable.” I like that idea – being held accountable. With that inherently comes ‘being responsible.’ and that also appeals to me. So often these days I see people who shirk either accountability, or responsibility. I am not able to be around them long as they are “toxic” individuals to me…
I once attended a seminar wherein the difference between “decision” and “choice” was discussed. It was explained that the word ‘decide’ (loosely) means “to kill off reason.” It might be a stretch, but it works for me. It is related to: suicide – to kill off one’s self; pesticide – to kill off pests; homicide – to kill off someone else, etc. You get the idea…
It kinda works like this: When we are presented with a situation wherein we need to resolve an issue, we begin to look at all the alternatives. Then, one-by-one, we “kill off” them all until, we are left with but one – our “decision.” During this process we employ “reason” to help us arrive with our ultimate “decision.”
This car is too slow; that one is too big. I don’t want to live in the woods, I want to live on the beach. This gal is too short, that one is too tall – and so forth. There is always a “reason” associated with our “decisions.” And in this process, we surrender “responsibility.” It sounds simple, and it really is. If we are later questioned by our “decision,” – either by our self, or by others – we always have a “reason” to fall back upon for making the decision. And in this, we “surrender” responsibility.
“Choice,” on the other hand, is essentially a selection, without “reason.” I choose to do whatever, because that’s what I choose. Nothing else. Simple.
Kids are great at this. When we ask a kid something or another, he or she, just gives us an answer. Usually just a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ No blather, no ‘explanations, no ‘noise!’ Just a simple ‘yes,’ or ‘no.’ Ask an ‘adult’ the same question, and usually after the ‘yes,’ or ‘no,’ comes the bullshit – the ‘noise.’ That’s because we’re ‘educated,’ I suppose…
I like making “choices” today because they are so simple to deal with. And I like the idea that I am responsible – not anyone else! Not my Mom, not my spouse, and certainly, not my government…