Lonely Pilot Bob

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

“Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them.  Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.”

This is a ‘trap’ so easy to fall into; and many do – fall into it.  They are not the company I want to keep.

I have ‘flirted’ with this a few times during my life, but have never really felt comfortable with it.  I have discovered I am more comfortable being “proactive” rather than “reactive.”  A good example of this is when I retired from the Air Force, and was waiting to be hired by the airlines.

I retired from the USAF on 15 July 1988, with no job at hand.  But I somehow knew that things would work out.  As the end of July came and went, then August – and no interviews, I began to become a ‘little concerned.’  Here is where it would have been so easy to begin feeling sorry for myself.  However I engaged.  I took a look at my applications, and updated them as necessary. (Proactive.)  Then in September, things began to pop.  I received 2 or 3 interviews, and was subsequently hired by TWA in October 1988.  I took the job then in Jan. 1989 I was hired by NWA, and that’s where I ended up.  That is where I wanted to be.

It would have been so easy to have to have fallen into the trap of feeling sorry for myself back in late July/early August 1988.  But I think those “negative vibes” carry thorough us, to where others can see the negativity.  By staying “proactive,” by being “positive,” I was doing the best I could with what I had.  The key in this whole proposition is ‘willingness.’  Being ‘willing’ to do what you can, with what you have – and accepting it for what it is.  Sure beats feeling sorry for myself!  And it kinda emboldens me; being proactive, knowing I am doing the best I can… staying positive in the face of adversity.

This article was printed in Forbes by Amy Morin, 18 November 2013.  Then it showed up on Facebook.  I think it has a great deal to offer; to where I am going to take each one of these things over the next 13 days, and look at them from my perspective.  (I am going to entitle this thread: “MSP,” sequentially numbering the posts 1 through 13.)

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.

3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.

6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.

7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it. However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.

8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.

9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.

10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive. They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.

12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

Mentally strong people don’t feel entitled to things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.

13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.