No Jim, You’re Not Screwed Up…

After I wrote about our Christmas 4-ship last week I received the following reply from Jim N.

“Yes it seems like only yesterday…but I checked the calendar and it says no.  Hey, it’s important to see the other 3 guys in your four-ship right!!  Especially if two of them are solos…right.  So why did ATC paint their ’38s camo shades of gray?!?!!  To make it hard to find #4 during rejoins at 30,000ft?!?!!  This makes no sense or am I just old and screwed up?  Jim”

Jim raises an issue I have thought about for years.  This is one of the ‘gray camo’ jets he talks about:

011113-F-2171A-020

And these jets below are painted white as they were when Jim and I were at Vance AFB, OK together in the mid-70’s.

usaft38talon-0702a

There was a purpose for having them white.  Our mission was “student training,” and part of that training involved formation flying.  Getting lost in formation training is just part of it.  It happens.  So now, as Jim observes, on a gray, overcast day, which jet do you think an inexperienced student pilot will spot first?  The whit one, or the spiffy camo one?

The jets were all converted to that spiffy camo paint job in the early ’90’s when the Fighter boys took over T-38 student training.

I instructed in the T-38 for over 13 years; from 1975 – 1988, logging over 3,200 hours in the Jet.  I flew with a lot of guys, and a couple gals.  For the most part the Fighter boys always felt it below their state of life to come back to the Training Command – to fly ‘trainers.’  It was just below their dignity.

Often my first ride with one of these guys was an “orientation ride in humility.”  Yeah, I would endure the briefing laced with such Fighter talk as, “Shit-Hot, and Fuck,” followed by calls of “Fox 1,” or “Fox 2” in the hallway as we walked to the chute room.  Pretty extensive vocabulary, and I had to really concentrate to keep up with it…

Once we got in the Jet it became a different matter.  Usually the F-4 guys and the A-10 guys caught on pretty quick.  The guys who flew F-15s and F-16s were a different matter.  (The F-4 had been around for years and was kinda ‘old,’ and the A-10 was the bastard step-child in the fighter world.)  However the differential was that the F-4guys and the A-10 guys knew how to use the rudder; the spiffy jet guys flew with their feet on the floor.  And therein was my opening to teach ‘humility.’  More often than not, the debriefing was quite a bit quieter than the briefing…

In the 90’s Air Training Command (ATC) went through numerous changes.  First the name: it morphed into Air Education and Training Command (AETC – Air et cetera.)  Well swell, I am sure we needed that.  I don’t know how we missed this for so many years?  Then it was decided to go to a “dual track” system of pilot training wherein after basic jet training in the T-37 students would be designated into 2 categories: Fighter/Attack/ Reconnaissance (fast movers) or Tanker/Trainer/Bomber. (‘heavies’)  There were a couple exceptions to these categories, of course, but for the purpose of this conversation, this works.

Now, since the guys only going into T-38s would eventually be going to fighters, it was decided that only Fighter guys should be T-38 IPs.  And I suppose there is merit to this… And to further create the environment the students would be eventually flying in, they repainted the jets to gray camo.  This, in turn, had an additional benefit.  It made the Fighter boys, coming back to the command, feel a lot mo’ better… And that’s important.

So no Jim, you’re not screwed up.  Like me, you’re just ‘old!’  LOL!  However, just think how “shit-hot” they’ll look with a mid-air at 30,000 feet!

Posted in Just Things I Notice, USAF | 2 Comments

Supporting the Cops

When I came out of the grocery store yesterday I saw a Monclova Township Deputy Sheriff sitting in his cruiser next to me.  His passenger side window was cracked about 2 inches or so.  Man, I could not resist this set up!

I reached in my car and took out one of the GIFT CARDS I am handing out this year.  Then I turned and tapped on his window telling him I had something for him.  He unrolled the window further, then I passed it through, explaining to him:

“This is just a small gesture on my part, to show my support and deep appreciation for you guys.”  His face lit up, and I ‘almost’ felt bad about it; but that past fairly quickly… There was the ring on his finger so I told him to please bring along his family.

I was able to observe his expression of ‘deep appreciation,’ followed by ‘confusion’ then I heard him break out in uncontrolled laughter as I got into my car.  I didn’t dare look back as I drove off, but I think I might have made his day!

I like doing ‘nice things for good people.’

SnowMaze

Posted in Humor | Leave a comment

My Favorite Christmas Carol?

By far, “The Littlest Angel,” by Bing Crosby…

In 2012 I decided to build ‘little boxes’ for all the kids; my kids and the grand kids.  I was very meticulous in choosing a special wood for a special kid.

IMG_0805When I finished them I decided to add something ‘of mine’ to each box, something I treasured.  Each ‘kid’ got something different.

DSCN1525

In Beth’s box I put one of the gloves I wore on my last flight in the Air Force: Keith’s I put my wings – the wings I earned at graduation from pilot training.  (They are ‘broken’ because of the legend – if they are broken on the ground, they can never be broken in the air).

Over this summer I decided to build a box for myself.  I chose ‘barn wood’ for mine.  And this is it this evening, 24 December 2014:

IMG_2966

In it I have a few pictures, of my grandmother and my kids.  Then there are a few patches I wore at one time or another: my UPT (Undergraduate Pilot Training) class patch, a PIT (Pilot Instructor Training) patch and a T-38 3,000 hour patch.  Then there’s a flying glove I once wore and a set of my wings.  On the glove you can see a “Gold Key.”  This was on my UPT parachute and used to initiate the parachute deployment in the event I was rendered unconscious during ejection.  And in front you can see the watch my Grandfather gave me when I turned 12 and a “BratPin.”

If I were to meet the Lord this evening, this is what I would take to Him…

Posted in Spiritality | 1 Comment

The Snow Maze

Last year (2013) we had a winter something like we used to have when I was a kid (1964 – ’68).  I don’t know what the “official” snowfall was, suffice to say, a lot.  Toward the end of the season I was talking with Mikey and he suggested this year I open a “snow maze.”  Now, just how stupid is that?  However, his idea held great appeal for me and I lent a lot of thought to it over the year.  So I contacted my sign maker last month and this is what we came up with:

FullSizeRender

Right now (Dec. 23, 2014) it sits in my family room; no snow – and it’s killing me!  I now can appreciate how ski resorts feel when there is no snow.  I am losing a great deal of money!

Do I think I’ll have folks walking in my front year?  Oh, hell yes!  And probably at $5.00 each.  And I will have my camera ready!

Last week I decided to create “gift cards” to fill the gap.  They have been a real “hit!”  I took 3 over to Noah’s school and gave them to the receptionist.  I told her that I wanted to give the “gift cards” to Sister Pat (principal), Karen (secretary) and Mrs. Rogers (the boy’s teacher) – and I handed them to her, upside down.  She went on to tell me ‘how kind I was,’ as I began to walk away.  Then I her her burst out laughing!

SnowMaze

 

Posted in Humor | 1 Comment

I Didn’t Fly 3 Times that Day…

I was talking in the hallway to a few Captains one morning when the squadron commander (the 560th FTS/CC) came up to us.  At that time I was the “Special Assistant to the DO (Director of Operations), Number 2.  Lt. Col. Byron Allen was the Special Assistant to the DO, Number 1.  I had upward mobility, he didn’t…

Anyway, the commander asked if he could speak to me, indicating that he wanted it to be a “private conversation.”

“Sure Tom,” I replied, “what’s on your mind?” I replied with a ‘body language’ that told him I wasn’t going anywhere.  This would have been in December 1987 and I was retiring in July.

“Have you heard of ‘my’ policy of not flying 3 times a day?” he asked, thinking he had ‘nailed me.’

“Why, yes Tom, I have,” I answered.

“Well, it appears that the other day, you violated my policy,” he stated as if he had nailed me.

“Okay Tom, let’s think about this for a second,” I replied.  The Captains I had been talking with were now becoming somewhat amused, so I continued.  “Your ‘policy,’ as I understand it, is a ‘WOM,’ a ‘word-of-mouth.’  If you want me to adhere to it, write it down.  ‘WOMs’ are not legally binding.  And besides I did not fly 3 times that day (12 December 1987), I flew 5 times that day!”

At the time the only limit we had to flying on any given day was no more than 6.5 hours in a day – and I had not exceeded that.  I had 6.0 hours that day… and I knew it.  So, I was just ‘playing’ with him.  He was now in a engagement he could not win – so without saying anything else, he just turned and left.  Nothing else ever came of it…

You have to know the rules…

Posted in PIT, The Book | Leave a comment

“Kansas City Center, Guess Who?”

It was about this time of the year when we took a 4-ship out to the area to ‘play’ a bit.  The students had all gone home for the holidays so there were just IPs (instructor pilots) in the jets.  The initial check-in with Kansas City Center went something like this (after a silent nod from everyone acknowledging, we were all on Kansas City’s radio freq.) -beginning with the IP in the front cockpit of the Lead jet.  Subsequent responses were followed by the IPs in the front cockpits of the other 3 jets, then with the guys in the rear cockpits:

“Dasher,” “Dancer,” “Prancer,” “Vixon,” “Commet,” “Cupid,” “Donner,” “Blitzen…”

…then Jack D., Flight Lead called, “Kansas City, guess who!”

Merry Christmas Everyone!

t-38a(And yes Jack, I know: these aren’t ‘Vance’ jets; and I know this isn’t ‘in the area,’ and I know these aren’t Vance IPs, etc…!  But it is the only T-38A four ship picture I can find this morning!  LOL!)

Posted in The Book, UPT, War Stories | 1 Comment

Who Taught You How to Talk to Adults?

I was up to the post office the other day with a handful of BratPin orders to send out, maybe 12 – 13 of ’em.  As I was about to hand everything over to Deb I noticed this ‘kid’ come in with just a few envelopes.  He was maybe 17 or 18; a nice looking, well-groomed kid.  I thought this might be a good opportunity for a ‘lesson’ for him; teaching him to be observant about his surroundings, and whatever else he could take from it.

So, I asked him, “Do you just have the 2 pieces to mail?”

“Yeah,” he replied.

“Yeah?!” I came right back at him with, I think perhaps ‘shocking’ him a bit.  And at the same time I motioned for him to go ahead.  Then I asked, “Who ever taught you how to talk to adults?”  And I left it at that.

Deb was somewhat mortified, but she went about her task at hand…

As the kid completed his business, he looked at me and said, “Thank you, Sir,” and all was good…

Posted in Current Events | Leave a comment

Retro ID Cards

And so in early December it came to us; how fun would it be to create ‘retro’ military dependent ID card?

When we, Military Brats, left home or when our parents left the service we had to surrender our ID cards.  Not a big deal perhaps, to civilians, but to us Brats our ID cards symbolized our existence.  It was almost losing our ‘identity’ for a while.  From when we became aware that they even existed we counted the days until we turned 12.  That was the minimum age you could receive an ID card back in the day.  I wouldn’t doubt it if they just give them to about anyone these days – after all, every kid deserves a trophy today…

So a friend and I put our heads together and came up with this great military dependent retro ID card.  How cool is that?  They kind of look like this, ‘like’ the original ones:

RetroID

Only we “sanitized it.”  (I think Brats have more of an appreciation for security sometimes than active duty folks or members of congress.)  Front and back there was nothing that could pass for military.  Nada!  However just before going into production our printer’s lawyers advised the company against it.

Their claim was that someone could use the card to gain entrance into the World Trade Center, blow the place up and the company would be held liable for trillions (of dollars).  Oh, really?

Let’s look at the ‘big picture’ here a minute.  A “Retro” ID card.  An OBSOLETE, Retro ID card!  No bar code anywhere.  No American eagle or bird if any kind anywhere on it.  No rank of any kind.  No “unit” details.  Nothing military.  And most of the pictures on the damn thing would be pictures of us as kids:

Circle "F" 1

Makes me take pause to think that they should consider enlisting the legal staff in Homeland Security.  Clever bastards they are… the “tip of the spear” with respect to homeland defense…

Posted in A Nation Gone Nuts, Air Force Brats | 1 Comment

And What Did He Tell You That Means?

I was standing at the cockpit door one afternoon after landing in Detroit, handing out “Bye-nows” – kind of bored with it all.  The deplaning line came to a stop and there was this black kid standing next to me.  He was about 19 or 20 or so and had a tattoo on his right bicep.  I looked at it for a couple seconds, then asked, “When you had that ‘tat’ put on, what did you ask for?”

“Harmony,” he replied.

“Really,” I continued, “is that what you think it is?”

“Yeah,”

“Well Son,” I said, “I studied Chinese at the Naval Language Institute at Monterrey, California for 2 years, and that is not ‘Harmony!’

“What is it?” he asked….

“Well, you see this ‘bit’ here, heading down?”

Harmony

“Yeah.”

“Well, for ‘Harmony’ it has to go up.”

“What’s this mean?” he asked.

“I am not quite sure, but I think it has something to do with sex.”

His eyes got wide open, and his mouth dropped.  By that time the line began moving again, and off he went.  Thank God!

I chuckled to myself, then hoped I never ran into him again.  I have often wondered whether or not he went back to the tattoo parlor….

 

Posted in Humor | Leave a comment

A ‘Pissing Contest’ with a Chicken…

Chickens need approximately 14 hours of (day) light to produce eggs.  With the onset of winter I will typically leave a light on for them in their coop.  The 75w bulb I have in there is also a source of heat for them.

The other day as I was checking their food and water I noticed the light was off.  I thought I had turned it on.  I checked the switch – it was on.  So I pulled the string, turning the light back on, and thought nothing more about it.  The next day the light was off again.  What?

So, I once again checked the switch and pulled the string again; and on came the light again.  “Okay,” I thought to myself, “I am now in a pissing contest with a chicken.”  How do I win this?

I am going to have to ‘ponder’ on this one for a while…

Posted in Current Events | 1 Comment